Aftermath of Treatments

[Marjorie Bahhaj]

I would like to start a discussion on the aftermath of treatments.  It may be a time to rejoice and be thankful that the chemo, radiotherapy and surgery has cured the cancer.  You may have the all clear and this is wonderful but are left struggling with the after effects of treatment.

So how do you move forward, learn to adapt and live again with the aftermath.  Of course there is always the aftermath of psycho-social aspects too!  It is not all physical effects...

 

Over to you to add your experiences and lets grow together on this subject.....

[Bren Fisher]

This is a good discussion to start as so many patients after their treatment feel vulnerable...

 

[June]

So agree, after having treatment and then just being expected to get on with you're life can be so difficult as I found everyone was saying you're ok now when in fact I wasn't.  I was continually getting pains in my back and feeling so tired and worrying if the cancer had come back.  I know it's  a lot to do with stress but when the pain is there it's hard not to be thinking whether it is the cancer returning.  It's also been difficult to not sharing with my husband as I know he really worries about me and I don't think anyone really understands the continuous stress until you've been there yourself.  Do you get many patients feeling the same? 

 

Also wanted to share with you that after having a mastectomy it's really affected my relationship with my husband, although he says it doesn't matter it's affected me and the way I feel about myself.

 

June

[Marjorie Bahhaj]

June thank you for being open with your situation.  All you are expressing is perfectly normal from the shock wave that cancer has given you in your life. Yes we do have others with these fears of cancer returning.  For sure we need to be ever aware, but it is getting a balance so you can handle the vigilance without being stressed. Remember we are not just body but mind, body and spirit there is a lot that we can do working internally with ourselves to look at where the fears are really coming from and how to handle fear.  My suggestion is that meditation may help - signing up for a group weekend on self exploration may help you feel in control and to see things in a different light. Take a look at the Penny Bohn cancer centre shop and look at some of their books and tapes to help you.  For you need to live and find your true self to enjoy your life and your marriage.  There is a brilliant American oncologist Bernie Siegal that takes a more Holistic look at cancer and the miracles that the mind can make in attitude towards cancer. 

Your husband sounds as if he loves you very much June.  Remember we are Goddesses with or without boobs.  Your life with your man is more than outward appearance... it is sharing of yourselves mind, body and spirit.  Sexually you are still attractive to him and he still wants to share with you the joy of intimacy.  Making love involves more than those areas that the wider media like to think are all part of sexual relationships.. When we are aroused ALL our skin in receptive to loving touch and kisses.  Have fun June you are allowed to have fun and laughter now! Try not to shut your lover out of your life as it can be painful for him.  He has had the stress of seeing you ill, battling with the diagnosis, fear of losing you  and he too needs your loving touch.  Cuddles are very therapeutic... and scientifically proven so as they stimulate oxytocin and endorphins.... so full permission to carry on loving.... life is no life without love!  I am going to give you a hug now {{{{hugs}}}} Enjoy!!!!!

[Marjorie Bahhaj]

Self- help techniques for discoverying inner self power!

This will help you find the Goddess in yourself...the beautiful person you are!

[Marjorie Bahhaj]

Doctor Hugs and sound advice... this will lead to links to Bernie Siegal the Oncologist I told you about.

Healing Relationships by Bernie Siegal

Exceptional Cancer Patients - finding inner wellness

Sex and Cancer - this helps you to understand the fear of intimacy following mastectomy - fear from the belief you have lost your attractiveness.  The aim is for you to realise you are still a beautiful being with every right to have love in your life!

 

Hope this helps all our readers.....xx

[John Contreras]

really you did a great job by starting such a discussion.Thanks.

[Bren Fisher]

June - Many patients come into our centre feeling just like yourself with the thoughts of "It's the cancer returned" It's only after allowing time to talk through with someone else sharing if they have gone through other stressful times that it more often than not relates to worrying about other everyday stressful moments but with their past experience your often not thinking straight  and the area it affects is the weakest part of your body.  If you're ever feeling like this, look back on the past few days or weeks, have you had a stressful few days? normally once recognising it you start feeling better almost immediatley but if you see no reason as to why your back or limbs are aching for no reason then you should see your oncologist and talk it through further.  That's my moto: "It's good to talk" especially to others who have been through a similar  experience.